Mother’s Day is coming up! It’s this Sunday the 14th for those of you who completely forgot (smh). It’s very hard to make an African mom happy but we’re here to help. You can stop giving her Mother’s Day cards from CVS and that same TGIFriday’s gift card you that you bought for Christmas and follow this fool-proof guide to make your Mother’s day, in a special, inexpensive way.
1Get married a day after you graduate college.
It’s every African mother’s dream to see their children get married and they never fail to remind us…everyday. So as soon as you’re done with school, find someone appropriate and shack up! It’ll make her happy. Trust me.
2Don’t date in college.
Ah yes, the paradoxical rule that our parents have given us. Getting married after college, without dating in college. That’s not how this this works, that’s not how any of this works. But hey it’s Mother’s Day and this will for sure make her happy. Don’t ask questions, just do it.
3Become a prayer warrior.
If you thought simply attending church or mosque was enough to make your Mom proud, think again. You must attend Sunday school, Community Life Group, Saturday prayer line, Night Vigil and lead the nightly family prayer. Then and ONLY THEN will you put a smile on your Mother’s face.
4Answer her calls.
Your phone is ringing. It is your mother. You usually let it ring and let it go to voicemail where she starts by saying “Hello, this is your mother”, like we all don’t have caller ID’s in 2017. But not today…today you will answer her call! More than likely it’s about washing the dishes or getting the meat out of the freezer, but still! It’s Mother’s Day, she deserves it.
5Stop stealing meat from the pot.
You’re not as sly as you think you are! Your mother has counted every single piece of meat in that pot and she will either bust you or let it go because she loves you. This time around, find an apple to snack on instead and leave the pot alone, its Mother’s Day .
6Send her “interesting” chain messages on Whatsapp.
Any one of these would help.
7Cook for her.
Yes, yes I know what you’re thinking–“but she’s my mom, she always cook for us”. Well not today. This Mother’s Day, do not allow her to step foot in the kitchen. Try your best at making that Jollof. Chances are you will burn the kitchen halfway to the ground, but hey, it’s the thought that counts.
8Accept her friend request on Facebook.
Our parents joined Facebook years ago and we all swiftly moved to Twitter. That didn’t stop them from lurking though. If you haven’t deactivated your account yet, search for that friend request buried under your notifications from 6 years ago and accept her. It’s not like you post much on there anyway so whats the harm? At least now you get to see how she
lies brags about you to all her friends.
9Stop using her wigs for comedy skits.
Enough is enough. Your mom supports your IG comedy career but seriously, it’s time to put her wigs down. This Mother’s Day, put a smile on her face without putting a wig on your head. And maybe even buy her a new wig while you’re at it.
Let us know if any of these work! @onetribemag 🙂