We all know twitter to be a seemingly bottomless abyss of senseless, unnecessary, yet hilarious and brilliant thoughts, with people surprisingly managing to share the various details of their lives in 140 characters (or less). Somewhere deep in this abyss lies a particular group of people who will make you wonder “Why are Africans like this?” on a daily basis. #AfricanTwitter is full of jokes, embarrassment, and clapbacks (just ask NyaLee), so beware. This land is not for the weak and will have your timeline brimming with gossip, subtweets, hilarious beefs, and awkward forays into DMs, often exposed on the timeline. Dubbed as #AfricanTwitter, here are a few people that you should be following to get a glimpse into the experiences of Africans Diasporawide…
First and foremost, @SubDeliveryMan, he deserves some sort of award for consistently presenting some of the funniest tweets ever to land on the timeline. The purpose of this account is for people to send subliminal messages to their target, anonymously. Sounds simple right? This account is responsible for starting countless beef, leading people to delete their accounts, and even getting celebrities involved in scandals, definitely not part of #MindYourBusiness Twitter.
There is GIST here, “Leave my boyfriend alone”- Twitter user https://t.co/p7t0ov4Run
— Sub Delivery Man (@SubDeliveryMan) July 24, 2016
As soon as the “Leave My Boyfriend Alone” subliminal was fired, feelings were caught, beef started, screenshots exposed, and hilarity ensued.
There is gist here: “She gave me BJ after I bought her fried rice”-https://t.co/5wYDvCJwZ3
— Sub Delivery Man (@SubDeliveryMan) February 19, 2016
“She gave me BJ after I bought her Fried Rice”. Self-Explanatory. Savage. Guy accuses a girl of…extracurricular activities, nudes were exposed, TL was lit.
After getting your dose of gist, turn to @Echecrates for hysterical yet down to earth commentary on regular life, sports, and Africa. You’ll agree with most everything he says, even though you may not want to admit it.
I’m glad that Toke published her book because Nigerian men need to be exposed for the trash we really are.
— Nigerian God (@Echecrates) November 29, 2016
Trump wins and u just gotta greet the first white person u see tomorrow with “Morning Massa”
— Nigerian God (@Echecrates) November 9, 2016
Can’t be broke and proposing to your girl standing up. My friend u better kneel down
— Nigerian God (@Echecrates) November 23, 2016
On to @KraksTv, they’re known for their entertaining content, mainly comprised of funny African videos that they’ve mashed up with other clips to make it even funnier, akin to WorldstarTV clips.
Tekno doing Tekno things 😩😂😂 pic.twitter.com/r2evMxU6cQ
— Kraks TV™️ (@KraksTV) October 19, 2016
Groom’s second fiancée storms wedding with same wedding dress 😩 (Via Ebals Blog) pic.twitter.com/YXnsz8ilxC
— Kraks TV™️ (@KraksTV) November 4, 2016
Next is @Dmv_Drummerboyy who pretty much makes jokes about everything with an impeccable use of gifs. He will have you hitting that RT button faster than you can even read the tweet itself. On a sidenote: he also had 3 separate graduation parties–for graduating from high school (wozz the meaning of all dis?). Highlights:
Sprinkle Of Jesus: Breathe
— Nigeria’s🇳🇬Finest™ (@DMV_Drummerboyy) October 27, 2016
Asking me to wash the dishes is very disrespectful. Ive been gone for 4 months, what dishes did I use
— Nigeria’s🇳🇬Finest™ (@DMV_Drummerboyy) November 23, 2016
African Mom: What a lovely Saturday morning,its 8am let me not disturb my kids sleep
African Parent: Yell, Scream,Wake them up to clean now pic.twitter.com/WwH2ALOGPx
— Nigeria’s🇳🇬Finest™ (@DMV_Drummerboyy) November 16, 2016
Ready for raw, NSFW, polarizing, outspoken and wise tweets about life, money, and relationships from the perspective of a modern African woman? @ChinnyofLife is your gal. The boss lady of TheLadiesRoom talk show, who responsible for numerous twitter discussions that could either make you love her or hate her. Highlights:
When someone affects your emotions to the point that you start losing sight of who you are, that’s when it’s time to walk away #TLRtalk
— Chinwe (@ChinnyOfLife) November 30, 2016
You really have to marry your best friend fam. It’s so important.
— Chinwe (@ChinnyOfLife) November 7, 2016
Not a lot of women are experiencing quality dick fam & it’s time to find out why!!
— Chinwe (@ChinnyOfLife) November 29, 2016
The constant pot stirrer, @odochukwuebuka, has on more than one occasion, left my timeline in a state of utter disarray. With a single tweet, #Africantwitter is ready to throw bombs to those who either agree or disagree with his statements. Mans can STYLE though. Highlights:
Nigerian ladies, please don’t tell ladies of other cultures not to fw Nigerian men. Especially if you can’t keep one yourself. God bless.
— John Stockton (@odochukwuebuka) December 7, 2016
Nigerian gehl: You this stupid boy, you are just useless.
Her inner self: Chai, this boy is everything I need in my life. pic.twitter.com/HWkIZFLM7D
— John Stockton (@odochukwuebuka) November 15, 2016
— John Stockton (@odochukwuebuka) May 10, 2016
Another opinionated voice on the #AfricanTwitter Timeline is @Nigerianscamsss. As his name suggests, yes he is 419. He also happens to be an avid disbeliever of the Yoruba Demon myth and a member of OneTribeMag! Mr. 419’s tweets often cover the subjects of soccer, current events, soccer, politics, and (you guessed it) soccer–all done in a very comical yet calm manner.
Happy Thanksgiving! pic.twitter.com/S37xfj0ywY
— Olufemi Adenugame (@Nigerianscamsss) November 24, 2016
Frying plantain. RT @muvaperry Name other forms of intimacy besides sex
— Olufemi Adenugame (@Nigerianscamsss) November 23, 2016
Presenting a perspective from the East side of Africa is @dopeethiopian, you may have already seen her on countless beauty IG and Twitter pages. She often tweets about current events and is quick to clapback. She will also never let you forget how Ethiopian she is and then follow it up with a selfie that is almost guaranteed to get thousands of retweets. Highlights:
I personally want to thank witch hazel, oxy pads, tea tree oil, bentonite clay, rose water & most importantly drinking water. I love you. 😖💙 pic.twitter.com/eztDRfSr8u
— RN (@DopeEthiopian) October 25, 2016
I was always too African for my American friends & too Americanized for my Ethiopian culture.
— RN (@DopeEthiopian) August 16, 2015
A major key to African Twitter is African comedians. One in particular is the comedy prince himself, @Chief_Obi. No stranger to entertainment, Chief Obi delivers some of the most fire tweets and his own hilarious work. Highlights:
African Mum: My son is actually very smart. He got 98% in his test
African Mum to African Mum: Ask him of the remaining 2% pic.twitter.com/rxKRh0rspM
— Chief Obi (@Chief_Obi) November 17, 2016
— Chief Obi (@Chief_Obi) October 6, 2016
Looking for new African music? @Ayojaguda has you covered. He has the hookup on new music and concerts from your favorite artists in Africa on his site Jaguda.com. And on occasion he tweets about politics and current trends. Highlights:
Y’all just recycling leaders, respect to Atiku but it’s time you All SIT DOWN and let the newer generation have a voice . https://t.co/uScHuZjxrE
— Ayo (@AyoJaguda) November 25, 2016
The Best Nigerian Album Every Year Since 2000 – https://t.co/6sX0dHjL0p
— Jaguda.Com (@jaguda_dotcom) July 14, 2016
If you want realness, look no further than @Kingwole. His tweets usually are thought-provoking, offering insights on the experiences of Africans in the diaspora, music, politics, and things you didn’t even know that you cared about. Also seems to have a database of often long videos of things that went viral in the past and things that just came on TV 5minutes ago. Other tweets include ramblings about day to day life, just like the rest of us. Highlights:
How to deal with that visitor always stopping by to eat your food. pic.twitter.com/XNDYkjEKFQ
— Zaddy Wolé II (@Kingwole) November 14, 2016
Asa is an African treasure. pic.twitter.com/7eva5dTilL
— Zaddy Wolé II (@Kingwole) November 23, 2016
The origin of the now legendary meme. pic.twitter.com/jcDKO0rr0j
— Wolé II (@Kingwole) January 31, 2017
If you’re looking for slayage, contours, and an abundance amount of “yasss” on your timeline, then head to @Jessnnecee—model of life. Another member of The Ladies Room, Jess’s tweets are comprised of politics, the problems of Nigeria, and how men can ruin your life. All of this while hitting you with an amazing photo of her doing modeling tingz that will make you block her from your boyfriend’s twitter. Highlights:
A year ago today.
Happy Nigerian Independence Day 🇳🇬 pic.twitter.com/CGkw3tulpR
— Jess Jess Finesse (@Jessnnecee) October 1, 2016
*inserts a “get you a girl that can do both” type tweet* pic.twitter.com/7or6xbRZlP
— Jess Jess Finesse (@Jessnnecee) November 7, 2016
I gotta be apart of something amazing before I die. Like God, do it for me please. My life can not be a waste.
— Jess Jess Finesse (@Jessnnecee) September 6, 2016
I don’t know this guy or what he does but girls like him and his parties are LIT… Guessed it? Yep, it’s @KingWaka_, known for his 6’7 stature and parties that will make all your troubles go away. No seriously, #WakaWeekend was amazing, and I wasn’t even there. Follow his twitter for the moves.
I wouldn’t trade being African for anything in the world.
It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
— Ya Tshisuaka Patrick (@KingWaka_) October 23, 2016
RT & LIKE for a chance to win a FREE #WakaWeekend band 🙈
Winner I’ll be decided at midnight 👀 pic.twitter.com/GcVlqHgQNk
— Ya Tshisuaka Patrick (@KingWaka_) April 17, 2016
Of course, there are many more African Tweeters out there spilling tea and sharing cringeworthy tweets that might make our parents ship us back to Africa but in the meantime, enjoy these.
Best of #AfricanTwitter
The look African parents give you before they got you with the “you think you’re doing me? You’re doing yourself.” pic.twitter.com/i6ki169zcC
— Mal Lightman (@CallMeAlhaji) January 6, 2017
Called my little sister a goat during an argument and my dad said I indirectly called him a goat cos only a goat can give birth to a goat 🤔😩 https://t.co/pRZKVLZlFE
— 🔪 (@Wendeeee_) December 11, 2016
I’m really sitting here like what does this puff puff have to do with anything https://t.co/jPHN9KL2eL
— cheeky chiomz (@ladyiraju) December 5, 2016
— Water No Get Enemy (@Nipho94) November 28, 2016
Fried rice with all sorts of guest appearances. Yung shrimp, Lil kidney etc…
Jollof rice went platinum with no features https://t.co/T4uFfKURhV
— Lord Vino (@LordVino) November 21, 2016
When someone says “Oh I’m not African but my parents are”….. pic.twitter.com/XEZd3FIngX
— African Tweets™ (@african_tweets) October 5, 2014
JUST TOLD MY MOM IM NOT VOTING FOR HILLARY CLINTON AND THIS HAPPENED 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/bUUkzgOA2E
— kenny (@xxxjayglo) October 28, 2016
Got some funny tweets from #Africantwitter ? Send them to us at @Onetribemag!