Yvonne Orji on Love, Dating and “The Wait”
Yvonne Orji has landed on the scene and she’s here to stay. A fan favorite on the show Insecure for her character, Molly, Yvonne is going 100 miles and running. She’s making an impact in mainstream media through her work as an actress, comedian and speaker–all while infusing her Nigerian background in whatever she does. On Insecure she plays Issa’s best friend, Molly, who is a lawyer struggling in her dating and personal life. Her character on the show, and Yvonne in real life have one striking difference. While Molly is no stranger to “getting it in” Yvonne is actually a virgin. So it was only right that she was one of the speakers at the TedxWilmington “Swipe Left” event about Love, Dating, and Situationships. We were able to catch her backstage before her set and asked her a few questions.
Do you feel pressure to get married, especially with having Nigerian Parents?
Yeah I felt pressure the day I graduated undergrad, I got my diploma and they were like “Where is your husband?”. They never allowed me to date, now they want me to get married, this is such a problem.
Being a virgin, how was it acting out the sex scenes on Insecure?
It was awkward, but thankfully I went out to dinner with the character who plays jared, and it was both of our first sex scenes but we were both adults about it. We actually checked on each other between scenes to make sure we were comfortable. In episode 8, a lot of people were like “how does she know how to do all this if she’s not having sex?” well there was a director shouting things at me, how to maneuver, and what to do.
What advice would you give to young women in relationships?
Before you even get in a relationship, know who you are and know why. Even if it’s a crappy reason, just at least know why, let’s be adults. I used to go on “foodie calls”, I was hungry and he could pay for it. Was I right? -no, but was I hungry? – yes, was I fed? – absolutely. But now when I’m looking for a relationship, if I enter something and I can immediately tell it’s not mutually beneficial then I’m out.
Any advice would you have to anyone that is pursuing their dreams?
Have faith, literally believe in your dreams more than anybody else.
It was now time for her set to talk about her personal experiences about love and dating, and she did so with hilarious pictures of her family.
“You cannot date…until you are married”
Her opening words, in a very thick Nigerian accent.
Many of us can relate to this paradox because our parents, for some reason, expect us to be married while banning us from dating, How sway??
She mentioned that she had a whole elaborate plan to lose her virginity at 18 to this “Puerto Rican Papi”, as she described, but he had other plans when she became a freshman in college. It was then that she got invited to a church group, got saved, and the rest is history.
She gave 5 key points she focuses on when it comes to her “wait”
- Wait on the person who sees you for you…and loves you regardless.
- Wait on the one who sees value in what you value.
- Wait on purpose, not in fear.
- Wait on the one who makes you a priority.
- Wait on the who meets your standards.
She also mentioned that her sitcom, “First Gen” is still in production, so be on the lookout for that!