10 Reasons To Go Back To Africa
From declaring nuclear war with North Korea to being affiliated with white supremacists and his general crime of being in existence, Donald Trump is leading America down a rough path–a path my dual citizen status allows me to skip entirely. So, might as well take every uncreative racist’s idea and “go back to Africa.” Here are 10 reasons to leave the West and go back home:
1. If the police beats you up, it won’t be for your skin color.
I mean, police brutality is a thing back home but it’s not a racist thing, you feel me?
2. Our leaders may be chronically ill, MIA, oligarchical, and corrupt but white supremacists? Naw.
They may steal our money, elect themselves president for 50+ years, and then elect their sons to take over, heck, we don’t even know if some of them are still alive, but supporting white supremacist ideals is simply beneath African leaders.
3. Can’t worry about health insurance premiums if you got no healthcare to begin with.
4. When you get followed in the store it’s not because you’re black.
…it’s because you resemble thief
5. Everyone has braids, weaves, wigs and everything else in between, so no need to worry about your coworkers, or random non-melanated folk, petting you like Sparky.
6. Speaking of coworkers, who gon’ check you if you bring your “ethnic” food to work?
No one, that’s who
7. It’s your turn to tell foreigners to go back to their country.
I said what I said. GO BACK TO EUROPE/CHINA/INDIA MY FRIEND!
*Just kidding, invest in our economy, please.
8. Sallie Mae can’t reach you in Africa.
9. No more spoiling your African name.
“Forgive me if I pronounce this wrong…O…Oluway”
“…oh that’s difficult, can I just call you Sam?”
Thunder fiya you Tanner! There will be none of that back home!
10. On a more serious note:
Because we as foreign bred/educated Africans are well aware of Africa’s potential. We know where work needs to be done and we know how our unique status can help lead to Africa’s growth. Foreign powers are investing (and lowkey neo-colonizing) in our countries, so we all have a duty, on some level, to make sure we are contributing to the growth of our home countries.