Your Guide to Surviving Valentine’s Day with a Yoruba Angel
Let me guess, you have heard all about the infamous Yoruba
demons angels and with Valentine’s Day quickly approaching you are trying to figure things out with the special Yoruba angel in your life? I want the best for you. so as a retired Yoruba angel, I am here for you with some wisdom.
1. Do not believe everything you hear
You go around hearing “Yoruba men are this,” “Yoruba men are that,” are we really that bad if people keep on seeking our services? Clearly not. Only someone who lacks sense will not come back to greatness. So once again, do not believe everything you hear.
2. We Care
Do you think it is easy to balance 5-6 women? God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers, which is why our names usually begin with Oluwa, Olu or Ola, God loves us and gives us challenges because he knows we can handle them.
Valentine’s Day is actually February 15th for you. Why participate on a day that everyone is doing something? We instead will have a whole day, a whole empty restaurant, and a whole empty movie theater for ourselves. That is #romance and #balance.
4. Heartbreak is preparation for better things
Yeah, we might be married or in a relationship but see point number 2, we care. You might end up “hurt” or “heartbroken” but that prepares you and makes you even stronger for whatever happens next in your life. Look at Ariana Grande, does she have two heads? You go to the studio and make your own “Thank U, Next.” Be grateful.
5. Life lessons
When you look back, you will realize you have learned the art of teamwork, how to take care of kids that are not your own, how to get along with other people (women), you might even learn how to properly iron traditional clothes; these are crucial life skills that you have learned.
Remember the popular Nigeria jersey from last summer? Yeah, well your Yoruba angel might have it (if he isn’t a broke boy). If he really #cares he will let you wear it. As you can see, we are also big on gift giving.
“It aint trickin if ya got it”- Oluwadiddy Oluseun Adecombs
Yoruba men are big on #romance. If you do not believe me, watch this video, and peep the lyrics. Also get your Yoruba man to translate it for you:
Have you seen our #culture and #customs?! We will treat you (and our other supposed “wives” and girlfriends) with care. For example, we are #thoughtful and will never use our left hand to disgrace you in front of your family.
9. #Sauce #Drip #Banter
All white trad. All black trad. We look great. You want jokes? We got you.
10. Why are you still reading this?
Where is your credit card so I can buy you (and her) something nice?